REVIEW: Miss Universe 2011   5 comments

So yesterday is what they call the most beautiful day of the year. I wonder when the ugliest is. Anyway, Miss Universe is celebrating its 60th year this 2011, and there’s no other place better to celebrate it than in the wonderful city of Sao Paulo in Brazil. A record-breaking number of 89 delegates joined this year, and as we all know, Miss Angola’s Leila Lopes (pronounced as Lowps as in one syllable) was crowned of the title and serves as the first win for her country and the last black woman since 1999 when Botswana’s Mpule Kwelagobe nabbed the title.

Who didn’t giggle during the compeititon when the background voice said “their lifelong dream of fame…” and “Those friendships are put aside as they go head to head tonight…”. Way to promote women as fame whores and obsessed with titles. HAHAHA.

As fun as it was, there are really certain moments that stood out from above the rest in yesterday’s telecast. And none of them involved the actual competition. Here are some of them:

Croatia? Costa Rica? Poor girl, her name wasn’t introduced to the rest of the world.

FUN FACT: Croatia with “s” forms COSTA RICA. Hahahaha!

Doesn’t she look like Heather Morris from Glee? 🙂

Raise your hand if you think this is Kelis (look at the name) whose milkhshake brought the boys in her yard.

Just for this introduction alone, Miss Trinidad & Tobago deserves a spot in the Top 16. She really showed no signs of pressure when introducing her country.

Now these two women provided the majority of fun last night. If you’re bored, they surely did entertain the hell out of you. Here are some of their commentaries during the announcement of the Top 16:

FRANCE – Oh my god we love France

COLOMBIA – Now this is amazing! (beauty and brains.. that’s what we love here)

CHINA – Yihee! Now China is one of my favorites

ANGOLA – Yay Miss Angola!

AUSTRALIA – My Aussie! I love this girl!

PUERTO RICO – Oh my gosh! I’m so happy!

NETEHRLANDS – Oh Miss Netherlands

PANAMA – I love Panama! She’s one of my favorites from the beginning!

COSTA RICA – Oh yes!

Now, pretty Miss Portugal got in the top sixteen for the first time since they joined the pageant.

Look how the commentators spoiled the fun:

PORTUGAL – Talk about luck, this woman won the online fan vote.

And this is what host Natalie Morales said before announcing the top sixteen:

One woman was selected to join the top sixteen through online voting  and we won’t say who it is…

Who didn’t attend the rehearsals!?!?!? HAHAHA.

Judge Connie Cheung, I want you to meet botox. Oh, you have met already!?!?!?

Still the best Miss Universe reaction ever.

Now Miss Universe Ximena Navarrete comes and announces that there are top fifteen winners for National in Costume Design. Two things:

1. I’m still waiting for the other five.

2. The scriptwriter isn’t helping beauty queens to erase people’s perception that they’re bad at math.

Now, it’s swimsuit time. And there’s no other person (literally) chosen to perform than Claudia Leitte who wasn’t given a memo that the performer is not required to wear the swimsuit too. Once again, two things:

1. The performer must not upstage the delegates.

2. I know the time span is pretty different from Brazil to here, but I’m pretty sure it’s not Friday night there. So no one’s ready to fight.

You bet they’re really dying to throw her.

And the commentators begin: France is setting the bar high.

Uhm, 3.9 is setting the bar high? Once again, you’re not helping the beauty queens are bad at math theory.

Commentators say: She’s kinda in the middle.

3.9 is setting the bar high yet a 5.6 is kinda in the middle. The scoreboard tends to disagree.

Commentators say: She looks tall? She is tall. She’s 6’1.


Commentators say: Fans aren’t feeling her but it’s up to the judges in the end.

Way to go and discredit the audience. But okay, I’ll agree here. 1.6!?!? SHE’S ON FIRE!

Commentators were shocked and emphasized that Miss Australia reads the newspaper.

What happened to the beauty and brains you said earlier?!?!?

Commentators say: Oh my, that’s it! Done! Done done!

Seeing that Alyssa Campanella didn’t survive the top ten, she’s really done done done for the night.

More statements from the commentators before the top ten (above) was announced:

Ukraine – Oh you know what? She loves reading poems. And you know what? She doesn’t know how to swing her sarong. It’s sarong but it’s so right. (Nice try for some wit there)

Portugal – This is one lucky lady and she better be thanking the stars because the judges didn’t actually have her in the top fifteen. (Go rub it more that she’s not deserving to make it).

Commentators say: Another disappointment? Venezuela. She’s done so well. Two Venezuela winners in the past two years. Look how the crowd has gone wild. Speaking of the crowd – Venezuela, home town girl made it in.

Okay, so it’s not only math, but geography as well. Is somebody selling maps outside the venue?

Now Bebel Gilberto sang “You can close your eyes, and you’ll never be alone” more times than Beyonce did Single Ladies when she promoted it in 2009. But for what it’s worth, I’m giving her an A performance. A for awful  awesome.

Now, what you are seeing in front of you are the silhouettes of the ten ladies who made the Evening Gown competition. Poor Costa Rica (second above) as the light didn’t shine on her. It seems that serves as an omen seeing she didn’t make the top five.

Now I know that Miss Brazil has issues; thus, the love-hate relationship she had towards the crowd, but did someone tell her she’s Brazil’s representative? Try to tell her that, because it seems she didn’t expect that as well.

Now Miss China seems a very sweet girl, and I’m happy that she made the top five. But based on this look when answering the question, she knew she had no chance in hell to grab that crown. A case of a bad interpreter.

Now this one’s a case of a good interpreter. Take a look at this picture and tell me that you’ve imagined that the interpreter is a child, the two hosts are his parents, and Miss Brazil is his coach. What a set of proud trio.

Now, just when you thought that it’s over for the two commentators, they suddenly appeared at the end when the top five ladies are doing their one last walk before the announcement. Here’s what they said:

Last year she made the top five, will we see a repeat tonight?

Uhm, she’s already in the top five. Unless you’re watching a delayed telecast right there from the balcony.

Anyway, that’s it. Congratulations to all the winners especially to the newly crowned Miss Angola Leila Lopes (once again, pronounced as Lowps as in one syllable). Until next year! 🙂


Posted September 14, 2011 by Nicol Latayan in Reviews, TV

5 responses to “REVIEW: Miss Universe 2011

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  1. nicol nakakatawa ka. hahha nice review. 🙂

  2. I wasn’t able to watch it! Give me a copy!!!! Grr. Tawang tawa ako sa itsura ni T&T

  3. Fave namin ni Von si T&T. Sobra kang maannoy sa 2 commentators. HAHAHAHA.

  4. I COULD NOT STAND the commentators!!!! Akala ko ako lang ang nairita sa kanila. hahaha

  5. Great review! You actually overviewed some nice news on your blog. I came across it by using Google and I’ve got to admit that I already subscribed to the RSS feed, it’s very great 🙂

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